“Let the baby cry it out”
We often hear the advice: “Let the baby cry, they will learn to calm down on their own.”
The truth is that in the early months, babies do not have the maturity to handle big emotions by themselves. What they really need is our presence.
When we hold our baby, hug them, talk to them or rock them to help them settle, we are not “spoiling” them. We are showing them that they are safe, that someone is there to help. Through thousands of these small moments, the bond grows stronger and little by little they build the trust that will later allow them to find calm on their own.
If we leave them alone, they may stop crying after a while. But it will not be because they found a solution, nor because they “learned to cope.” It will be because they gave up on trying to be heard. Because they felt discouraged. What they actually learned is to give up and to feel that they do not deserve attention. Yet the stress inside them remains.
Just because the baby stopped crying does not mean they learned how to calm down on their own!
The path toward independence goes through our arms. Through our presence, not through our absence.
